I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
