If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
