OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
