haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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