Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
