i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
