she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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