I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
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