no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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