Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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