Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
