she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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