I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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