But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
