i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
