Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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