why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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