Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
