we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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