dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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