sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
