their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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