Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
