I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
