So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
