Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
