I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
