My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
