He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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