Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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