I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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