things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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