I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
