I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
meet me or not, i'm out of control
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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