Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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