oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
