I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
