I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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