I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
