the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
