There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
