M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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