you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
