Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
