my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
