"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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