shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
