There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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