I heard we made out
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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