That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
