i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
