waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
nutella sex= disaster
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
