you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
