she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
