I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize