whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Don't make out with my wife yet
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
