One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
