i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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