if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
