She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
