Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
