Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
