dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
