It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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